I always enjoy hearing tips and tricks from other parents and thinking about which ones would be a good fit for me and my girls. So, I thought I’d share some of my parenting tips with you from time to time.
My tips may be things you’ve read before, heard before, tried before – but I have found that the best ideas often deserve repeating. Plus, I know I can always use reminders to stay focused on being the kind of parent I strive to be.
Here is something that has served me well since my girls were little, and continues to be one of my most effective parenting tools: giving my full attention.
What does my full attention look like?
- maintaining eye contact
- engaging in conversation
- getting down on my child’s level
- following my child’s lead
- giving affection
- not multitasking
Each day, my goal is for each of my girls to have my full attention at least twice. We might play a game, read together, do an art project, take a walk, do some imaginative play, or cook. During this time, I don’t check e-mail, do chores, write to-do lists, or any other task that might need attending to.
I know that when I give my full attention at various moments throughout the day, my girls play better independently, they whine and argue less, and the general mood of our house is more positive.
How can I tell I haven’t given enough attention? The whining, bickering, and {gasp!} “I’m bored!”s start creeping into our day. This tends to happen on days where I am wrapped-up in my own tasks – and, there are inevitably days that have to be this way. However, I have found that even 15 minutes of focused attention and interaction goes a long way.
Also, as my girls get older, I often need to remind myself that while they can play and create independently, they still enjoy having me play with them. And, I enjoy it too! A little playdough and chocolate milk break is good for this mom’s soul… 
Is this a parenting technique you use? What do your kids like to do when they have your full attention? I’m always thrilled to engage in continued conversation through the ideas, comments, and questions you write. Thanks for sharing!
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Thank you – I needed this reminder because kids are not kids forever. Time goes fast and we have busy lives. Sometimes we just need to make the time to give our kids that focused attention that they so much need and enjoy. So now I’ll turn off the computer and go spend time with my son!
This is SO true! I’ve found that the days when we “do” school, complete with mommy-led projects, read-alouds, and discussions go MUCH more smoothly than the days when my mind (and eyes!) are someplace else. I get more time to myself in the afternoon, the kids feel more connected with me, and are happy to be more independent later in the day. Thanks for the reminder!
Yep, I find this helps a lot around here. I try to get up early and take care of my stuff so that I can devote my morning to Parker. I try and make sure the 1-on-1 time we spend together is a good mix of my ideas and his own. And I am with you, if I haven’t devoted this attention I get a lot of grumps and ‘I’m bored’ around here too!
Side comment here – how old is your little one who is sewing? Lucy is 5 (but tiny for her age) and really wants to learn to sew, but I’m not sure how to teach her because she’s little yet. I hadn’t thought of having her stand, I was thinking of putting the pedal on a stack of books, lol, but not sure how that would work… Does she really sew things?
I would definitely agree.
Thanks for the good reminder.
seriously.
thank you
Would like to hear how you balance fun time with your children and school time. My children are always wanting more time with me, but now that we’ve started kindergarten, I feel like outside of school time I don’t have much extra to give! But they want more – playing dolls, pushing them on the swingset, etc. I feel like I’m in a constant guilt trip of trying to make them happy and yet trying to keep the laundry from piling up too high! Anyone else have the problem of kids that just can’t seem to get enough mommy time?
Those are great points…we are starting school tomorrow and I must remember to do one thing at a time! Karen
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This is so odd! I wrote somewhat similar post on my blogs a few days back! I found out too, the hard way, that the less time i spend with my son, the fussier, and michevious he becomes! Well lesson learn late better than never i say!
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