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Adventures in Playful Family Living

Busy September

Well, hello there! September is shaping up to be a busy, busy month for us.

We are two weeks into our third year of homeschooling. It’s going so well and our days are easily flowing between structure and free-time and back again. Definitely feeling like we have found a nice rhythm that works for all three of us girls (and hoping it continues!).

We are also preparing for Natalie’s 9th birthday and her Paris-themed party. The kids will be painting on canvas, decorating lavender sachets, following clues to find a lost poodle, and enjoying lots of yummy treats. Should be fun!

Our master bathroom is getting a much-needed overhaul. Big project, but totally worth it.

Planning to be back here in this space a bit more regularly – my post drafts are stacking up!

Hope your September is going well, too. Any projects (big or small) in the works at your house?

 

 

Easy Ways to Surprise & Delight Your Children

My kids love a good surprise – how about yours? Since the baby days of peek-a-boo, I’ve loved finding little ways to add more smiles and giggles to our days.

As often as I can, I look for sweet, memorable, or unexpected things I can do for my kids. I feel like I shine as a parent when I make the everyday things special – these moments fill me up as much as they do for my girls.

So, here are a few ideas I have up my sleeve that I know will both surprise and delight my two girls. They are easy, frugal, and don’t require much more than my time. There are going to be lots of smiles around here!

Continue reading at Simple Kids…

Kindergarten Countdown – Transition Tips

It’s that time of year again – back to school! Here is a post from a few years ago when Natalie was heading off to Kindergarten. {Originally posted July, 2008}

As much as I want to deny it, Natalie is heading off to Kindergarten in four short weeks! She is beyond excited, but there is a touch of anxiety too. We are talking a lot about what she thinks it will be like, and beginning to practice routines and establish some special rituals.

I’ve gathered up some ideas – some are things I used when I taught Kindergarten, ideas I recommended to parents, etc. Many of these ideas we have used at home, when the girls started preschool, or even just staying overnight with the grandparents. Enjoy!

Before School Starts

  • Visit the school and play on the playground.
  • Practice your morning routine.
  • Get in the habit of choosing school clothes the night before.
  • Work on self-care skills, such as using the bathroom, putting on a jacket, washing hands, etc.
  • Role-play what to do in different situations (how to approach a new friend, asking to use the bathroom, etc.)

backpack_photos

The First Day

  • Send your child with something special to keep in her pocket or backpack, such as a family photo, special rock, felt heart, etc. Even the most independent kids will like having a little piece of home to take to school. Both my girls had little photos to hook to their backpacks at preschool. I made these with badge holders, which you can find at office supply stores.
  • Establish a good-bye ritual. This can be a really fun way to make the hard good-byes a little easier. Try creating your own “combo” with things like a kiss on each cheek, a high-five, a hug, a funny saying, an elbow-bump, hooking your pinkies together, etc.
  • Have a First Day of Kindergarten party with a special dinner, scavenger hunt for a new book, etc.

calendar

Create Routines & Rituals

  • Have a special after-school activity on Fridays.
  • Hide something in the car for your child to find after school. This was Natalie’s *favorite* thing – I hid notes, coins, small toys, and occasionally a piece of candy inside a plastic Easter egg. Definitely something to look forward to!
  • Make a monthly calendar. We use a big desk calendar, and the girls both mark down their school days and other special activities. You can also use a calendar to “journal” about the school year — just have your child tell you his favorite thing from the day, and write it on the calendar.
  • Keep a scrapbook or journal together. Natalie and I will be doing this for sure!

Tips for Parents

  • Have something planned for yourself the first day after drop-off — maybe meet a friend. Or, you could sit in your car and cry, like I’ll be doing…
  • Find ways to be involved in the classroom and keep updated on what your child is learning and doing.
  • Expect some crankiness, tantrums, napping, etc. for the first few weeks – adjusting to a new routine is hard work!
  • Have a snack in the car for your child at pick-up!

Helping Your Child Talk About the Day

Some kids talk non-stop about every detail of their school day, others say nothing. Both responses are normal! Here are some ways to encourage your kids to share about the happenings at school:

  • Keep a drawing pad and crayons in the car – your child can draw a picture of something from the school day on the ride home, then you can talk about it together at home.
  • Know the daily schedule and themes in your child’s classroom so you can ask specific questions. Asking questions like, “What did you do for choice time?” or “What did you learn about caterpillars today?” usually gets more detailed responses than, “What did you do today?”
  • Again, use that monthly calendar to write down something fun or interesting about each school day.

You can also check out my favorite books about Kindergarten – sharing stories is one of our favorite ways to start thinking and talking about a new adventure!

natalie_preschoolgrad

Do you have a little one heading off to Kindergarten? If you have ideas or tips on making the Kinder transition a bit more special, please share!

Sweet Seven

Happy 7th Birthday, Delaney!

Mornings with you are filled with snuggles, chocolate milk, and stories about your dreams. If there are zucchini chocolate chip muffins for breakfast, you are extra happy!

I love how you check your calendar every morning to see what the date is, and what the moon will look like that night.

Your days are busy – playing with Natalie, reading big stacks of books on your bed, and exploring outside. You also love to fit in a card game, some computer time, and often a bit of dancing.

You like to create “clubs” with your sister and cousins and pretend to be spies or fairies or animals.

Some of your favorite things are hot fudge sundaes, going to the library, pigs, and your Honey Bear.

When I tuck you in, you give me a kiss on each cheek (because you really dislike kisses on the lips!).

You make us laugh every day – we love you so, so much!

 

Five-Minute Family Traditions

In my experience, it’s the little things that make the biggest memories. Do you find that to be true? When I was growing up, we didn’t have air-conditioning. I still remember my dad taking us for drives on hot summer days so we could cool off in the air-conditioned car – and, if we were lucky, through a drive-thru to get an icy cold drink.

Meaningful family traditions don’t have to be grand, or take a lot of planning or money. A few sweet and simple traditions will help you connect with your kids and foster feelings of warmth, security, and belonging. I’m going to share a few of ourfive-minute family traditions – maybe you will find some inspiration to create your own!

Five-minute family traditions

1. Goodbye Routine

A silly handshake or special saying is a comforting routine for times when you and your child are parting ways.

When I taught kindergarten, a dad and daughter always did an elbow tap, pinky shake, high-five as their good-bye.

A few years ago, Delaney started blowing different types of kisses to us when saying good-bye: waterproof kisses for rainy days, drive safely kisses, and many others. She still blows a kiss, but she has shortened her routine to offer us “a case of everything,” meaning every type of kiss. So sweet!

2. Table Talk

Add a little pizzazz to your family dinner with a nightly question or discussion. Here are a few ideas:

  • Tell the best and worst part of your day.
  • Make a jar of questions and pick one each night. (How Does She? has some lists to get you started.)
  • Play I’m thinking of an animal… or 20 questions
  • Talk about what you are thankful for that day.
  • Give each other compliments.

3. Caring Collection

Everyone loves to feel acknowledged and appreciated. Set-up a jar, journal, index card file, or poster to keep track of the kind and generous things you do for one another. Older siblings and parents can write down the younger kids thoughts, too.

Read these positive words together on a regular basis. Or, save them up and have fun looking through and choosing favorites on New Year’s Eve.

4. Family Song

We’re not the only family that dances around the kitchen to make the clean-up go faster, right? Gather everyone’s input and decide on a family song.

Play this song when you clean-up together or when someone in the family could use a pick-me-up. Play it as you pull out of the driveway and head out on a family vacation.

Play it enough that the whole family can sing it together – even without the music. Sing-along and dance together!

5. Group Hug

Group hugs are silly and sometimes squishy – which is part of the fun! At any random moment, any member of the family can yell “group hug!” Better yet, come up with a secret code word for your group hug call-outs like “banana split!” or “purple peacock!”

Now, it’s your turn to share! What are your quick and simple five-minute family traditions?

Building Decision-Making Skills

My six-year-old has become a bundle of indecisiveness. The I don’t knows come out of her mouth like a reflex or knee-jerk reaction.

From simple things (like what to eat for breakfast) to more involved ones (like what to spend her money on), she is really struggling with the deciding process. It also seems to really bother her that she can’t answer a question or choose something immediately – picture whining, crying, and collapsing in frustration.

I happen to think that being able to confidently make decisions is an important life-skill, so I try to model my strategies for making decisions as they come up, big and small.

Here are some of the things I am weaving-in to our daily life to help both my girls strengthen their decision-making skills – most of these can be adapted for use with toddlers or teens, too!

Think Time

This is the skill I work on the most with Delaney – it seems like the most basic, but for some reason she feels pressure to make decisions immediately. If you hang around our house for any amount of time, you would probably hear me say, “It’s okay to think about it. Take your time and let me know when you are ready.”

We also talk about the amount of think time being proportionate to the “size” of the decision. Small decisions=less think time; big decisions=lots of think time. Choosing what to wear today shouldn’t require as much think time as choosing what color to paint your room. This must be why I still haven’t decided on a new sofa!

Lists, Lists, and more Lists

Both of my girls like seeing their choices in writing (or pictures). So, together we have made many lists like Things I Can Play By Myself and Snacks I Like. We tape the list up in an appropriate location and leave it up as long as it is useful. Sometimes, just writing the list is enough to organize their thoughts and they don’t even need to use it after that.

Narrowing Down Choices

Sometimes, I step in and limit the choices, just like I did when the girls were younger. For example, offering two choices for breakfast seems to be more helpful than saying, “What do you want for breakfast?”

Delaney is also learning to narrow down choices for herself – if she can get it down to two choices, she usually does her own version of eeny, meeny, miny, moe to decide. :)

Changing the Script

We’ve been practicing some positive self-talk, too. When Delaney is having trouble deciding what she wants to do, she tends to say things like, “I don’t know” or “I can’t think of anything!”

I’m modeling more positive responses and self-talk, such as, “I’d like to think about it for a minute” or “I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know when I decide.”

I’m also encouraging her to say to herself, “I am a good thinker!”

Pros & Cons

For bigger decisions, I have already introduced making a pros and cons list. We talk about and write down pluses and minuses for the choices. Again, just the process of talking and writing seems to help the decision-making come easier.

Update: I started writing this post a couple months ago. We have been using these strategies when necessary, and I have noticed a big improvement in Delaney’s approach to making decisions. She does not always make quick decisions, but she is also not frustrated by the process of thinking about something and making a choice. Just another sign that she is growing and changing!

Are your kids impulsive or do they like to think things through? Have any decision-making tips to share?

Around the House: Weekly Jobs

Okay, so here is the rest of our job chart that you got a peek at when I wrote about our after-dinner jobs. We set this up with two main goals:

1. To give the girls a daily responsibility in addition to after-dinner jobs and nightly room tidying

2. To help my hubby and I get the basics accomplished on a weekly basis

Obviously, this is not a detailed cleaning routine for our entire house. But, it does mean that all the floors get an extra-good cleaning once a week and the bathrooms get hit twice a week. We don’t like grocery shopping on the weekend, so we added that to our routine midweek instead. Sometimes the girls and I shop together in the morning, and other times either my husband or I shop in the evening alone.

For me, the main reward of this whole system is that the girls are beginning to see the work required to maintain a household and that it is so much easier and faster when we all work together.

Here are a few more details on the girls’ various jobs – keep in mind that we aren’t going for perfection here, just doing our best and learning!

Bathroom

On Monday and Thursdays, I head to the girls’/guest bathroom with one of the girls (the other one gets a day off!). We clean the mirror, wipe down the sink, scrub the toilet and empty the trash. We set out a fresh hand towel and a new cup for rinsing. That’s it! My husband and I clean our own bathroom, and we tackle the tub and shower as needed.

Dusting

The girls dust the living room as well as their own bedrooms (mostly just their bookshelves). Sometimes I pay them a few coins in exchange for baseboard dusting!

Since I am doing the floors on the same day, the girls sometimes like to help vacuum their rooms or mop the kitchen floor.

Laundry

We get the bulk of our laundry washed, folded, and put away midweek. The girls help with various things like sorting and loading the washer/dryer, and they are also responsible for putting away all of their own clothes. They are becoming quite proficient at folding and can bust out a stack of towels, washcloths, and dishcloths in no time!

Cooking

I’m sure the girls would tell you that Friday’s job is the best – cooking! I put it on the schedule so that I remember to make time for the girls to bake or try a new recipe. Last week, Natalie made some delicious brownies from one of her birthday cookbooks, Look and Cook. The girls are very excited to tell people that they made something “from scratch!”

We keep our job chart in a sheet protector on the fridge and use a dry-erase marker to check off our accomplishments throughout the week. The girls are very in-tune with this, and are quick to remind me if I “forgot” to clean my desk or mop the floor. A little accountability is good, don’t you think? :)

Do we stick to this schedule every week like clockwork? No, but we continue to strive for that! I certainly notice that I feel better if these basic tasks are done.

Do the girls always join in happily to fold laundry or wipe down the bathroom sink? We get our share of “Do I have to?” but for the most part, they are happy to do their (very quick and simple) tasks. We are usually working side by side, so we pass the time visiting or listening to music while we work.

Do you have a chore routine at your house? Are your kids involved? Any other questions I can answer about our chore routine?

Around the House: After-Dinner Jobs

Thanks to our new after-dinner jobs, I have a pretty tidy kitchen every night. I am constantly surprised by how much I love walking into the kitchen in the morning and seeing clear counters and an empty dish drainer. It’s such a mood-booster to start my day!

I followed the lead of Molly at Mommy Coddle – she posted about her girls’ after-dinner jobs 5 months back and I tucked it away, thinking it would be a perfect fit for us.

We used our Chore Bucket for years. I still think it is a great way to encourage young kids to help around the house in a fun, relaxed way. After about two years of use, it was finally losing it’s magic, so I knew it was time to move on. Also, at ages 6 and 8, my girls are old enough to learn more detailed tasks.

Enter the after-dinner jobs! We have two lists of jobs. The girls stay on one list for a week, then switch for the next week. They each have a magnet to mark their current list. Here are our jobs:

List 1:

  • Clear dishes from the table
  • Wipe table and chairs
  • Put away toys (in the kitchen & living room – this includes shoes, too!)
  • Feed Lola
  • Put away dishes in the dish drainer

List 2:

  • Put away food on the table
  • Put away leftovers
  • Wipe counters
  • Sweep floor (mainly under and around table)
  • Put away dishes in the dish drainer

We have been doing this for about two months now and it is amazing how proficient the girls are at their tasks. The first month involved a lot of modeling and teaching – and not expecting perfection, by any means. Wiping the table without just brushing all the crumbs on the floor is still something we’re working on!

While the girls are working through their lists, my husband and I are working, too – washing dishes, loading the dishwasher, and drying dishes for the girls to put away. This is also my time to clean off the large counter area, since it is often the dumping spot for mail, projects, and other miscellaneous stuff.

The girls often help dry dishes, too. Natalie has expressed some interest in washing dishes, so we’ll work that in at some point.

With the four of us working together, we walk out of the kitchen in about 15-20 minutes (especially if I have given us a head-start by washing pots and pans or drying dishes as I prep dinner). Sometimes we play music while we clean, while other times we enjoy visiting as we work. I love this new addition to our daily routine!

Do your kids help out with dinnertime prep or clean-up? What are your favorite ways to incorporate chores into your daily routine?

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Goal-Setting Charts for Young Kids

Setting goals is not just for grown-ups. Even our littles can benefit from the confidence-boost that comes from setting a goal, working towards it, and achieving it.

Goal-setting with young children should be simple and straightforward:

  • Involve your child as much as possible in choosing an appropriate goal.
  • Listen for times when your little one says, “I wish I could…” and think about ways to turn that wish into a specific goal.
  • First-time goals should be achievable in a day or two.
  • Decide on a great way to celebrate your child’s success.

No matter what the goal, kids (and grown-ups, too) will benefit from a visual way to track progress.  With some basic supplies, you and your child can create some fun and effective goal-setting charts. Here are some of the charts we have enjoyed using over the years. Let’s set some goals!

Continue reading this post over at Simple Kids…

Giving Your Full Attention

I always enjoy hearing tips and tricks from other parents and thinking about which ones would be a good fit for me and my girls. So, I thought I’d share some of my parenting tips with you from time to time.

My tips may be things you’ve read before, heard before, tried before – but I have found that the best ideas often deserve repeating. Plus, I know I can always use reminders to stay focused on being the kind of parent I strive to be.

Here is something that has served me well since my girls were little, and continues to be one of my most effective parenting tools: giving my full attention.

What does my full attention look like?

  • maintaining eye contact
  • engaging in conversation
  • getting down on my child’s level
  • following my child’s lead
  • giving affection
  • not multitasking

Each day, my goal is for each of my girls to have my full attention at least twice. We might play a game, read together, do an art project, take a walk, do some imaginative play, or cook. During this time, I don’t check e-mail, do chores, write to-do lists, or any other task that might need attending to.

I know that when I give my full attention at various moments throughout the day, my girls play better independently, they whine and argue less, and the general mood of our house is more positive.

How can I tell I haven’t given enough attention? The whining, bickering, and {gasp!} “I’m bored!”s start creeping into our day. This tends to happen on days where I am wrapped-up in my own tasks – and, there are inevitably days that have to be this way. However, I have found that even 15 minutes of focused attention and interaction goes a long way.

Also, as my girls get older, I often need to remind myself that while they can play and create independently, they still enjoy having me play with them. And, I enjoy it too! A little playdough and chocolate milk break is good for this mom’s soul… :)

Is this a parenting technique you use? What do your kids like to do when they have your full attention? I’m always thrilled to engage in continued conversation through the ideas, comments, and questions you write. Thanks for sharing!